This month’s article should prove useful for trained therapists and newcomers alike. Both groups should benefit from my discussion on knowing how to deal with presenting problems. Of course I only offer one version of events here, not THE definitive one. As usual, seek competent help if in doubt about your own issues.

Why It’s So Hard To Change

By Stewart Robertson

Gary Craig and others talk about a well-known metaphor explaining the structure of an emotional problem. This month I’d like to extend on the thinking a little.

 

In the traditional version, the problem itself is a table-top, with the legs beneath representing specific events contributing to the current day problem. By collapsing some or all of the legs, the table top will become unstable, and should fall over, providing emotional relief from the bigger issue.

 

My extension of this thinking supposes that 2 different sets of legs support the table. One, central, set are of a similar emotional flavour to the table top (e.g. an anger problem supported by specific events charged with that same emotion). A second set, around the outer edge of the table, represent the secondary, accidental benefits the problem provides. Notice that, although secondary, these still help hold the tabletop upright. And these are usually a different emotional flavour to the tabletop (e.g. being angry helps me be assertive; helps me get things done).

 

Common sense says that if we swing our emotional axe - (EFT) - at the centre legs straight away, it will deflect off the outer legs first, our efforts wasted. And even if we could somehow collapse the centre legs without the outer ones, the secondary legs would still easily hold the table upright.

 

Along these lines, most of us trying to make a change in our lives do so by hacking away unknowingly at the wrong part of the problem. The majority are unaware of any secondary, accidental advantages of holding onto the problem, and take aim only at the primary issue. And then we wonder why EFT “doesn’t work.”

 

A seasoned EFTer knows WHEN to work on WHAT issues. Working first, on only the outer table legs, has different (and much more interesting) results. Sometimes, when we have first collapsed the accidental benefits, the tabletop automatically falls over, unsupported by the central legs alone. In some cases, the individual will deny all knowledge of the original problem, or insist it was never an issue to begin with (thankyou apex effect).

 

Clearly there is much more to say on this important topic, and I will write about it again.

 

Meanwhile, if the problem you face is proving difficult to budge:

• What are the possible upsides to holding on to this problem?

• What are the downsides to having the solution?

• What happened the last time you [solution]?

• Will others know who you are, without this problem? Will YOU know who you are, without this problem?

• In what way will not having this problem make you seem unimportant? too similar? too different?

• In what way will not having this problem be unsafe? dangerous? stressful? insecure? uncertain? unfamiliar?

• Will having the solution change others’ expectations of you? Will it change YOUR expectations of you?

 

The answers often point to significant secondary areas requiring your early attention, before the main tabletop will give way.

 

Hope it helps.

 

With thanks for your presence here,

 

- Stewart

•  Long Term Resentments Give Way To “Profound Inner Peace” In 20 Minutes (and for free) - Working with a fellow EFT Practitioner recently, we arrived at some substantial cognitive shifts, and in double-quick time. Read full story

And Also

• Why See An EFT Practitioner? - New Article - If EFT is so simple and effective, why do I need a Practitioner? Emma Roberts sees the role of the Practitioner as someone who is part of a healing team, rather than a "fixer". Read More. Or, for another perspective, see my FAQs.

• Further case histories from Gary Craig's acclaimed site - Documented success with your complaint is most likely here.

• Newcomers Start Here - What is EFT? Read the impartial explanation, including research studies and limitations, at highly regarded online encyclopaedia Wikipedia

• Research - Read evidence-based studies on EFT across several subjects including natural disasters, eyesight, and blood cell clumping using Dark-Field Microscopy. Worthy of your study.

• This month's book recommendations

• Your Feedback – is always welcome, on this newsletter or any aspect of The Stress Clinic. Leave Comments

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