Newcomer Collapses Own Fear Of Public Speaking (And More) Under Time Pressure

It always gives me great big warmies to look on as another discovers the power of EFT through their own experience, and realises the healing possibilities we have with this stuff. In this case newcomer Caroline collapses her own fear of public speaking in short order, with the help of some friends in Helen Walker's EPNS forum. There is much evidence here of the EFT hallmarks we have come to love - language, aspects, generalisation effect, and the realisation of a major core issue.

Join Helen Walker's EFT forum here.

Caroline: Hi all, I am very new to EFT and the issue is my own. I panic terribly when I read out loud to a group, it is worse in front of a lot of people, but it has happened in a relaxed atmosphere with people I know too. I know where this issue began, but a few years ago it re emerged after a disturbing incident around someone I know.

SR Comments: Already we have a few doors to go in. In a one-to-one session, I might be looking for similarities between the original incident, and more recent one. I would also be asking “What do these events remind you of?”

Caroline continues: I have done a lot of reading on Gary's site and have done quite a lot of tapping so far, mostly for this issue. I downloaded the free manual but am not sure I am tapping in the right place… Can anyone give me any direction on this. I have also found it difficult to get any kind of "reading" for what my score is. Even before I began to address this fear, I found it hard to imagine how I might be feeling if I was just about to read.

SR Comments: A common complaint. Especially so when working on ourselves. More on this later.

Caroline continues: Can anyone give me any pointers? I'm desperate to be rid of this problem and am due to read aloud this coming sunday.

HW: …I'm sure you're tapping just fine! It can all be a bit confusing when you get started, but don't worry, it's a very forgiving system. Don't worry about not being able to get a score for how you might feel if you were going to read. Instead, consider how you feel RIGHT NOW when you think about the problem, and tap on that.

SR: …Naturally this is a challenge when just learning EFT, as we are constantly shifting in and out of the associated problem state to check "am i doing this right, is this point right, why isn't anything happening....etc etc" This shifting between associated and meta-states is the no1 reason that self-therapy is hard, and it's always best to seek help from another practitioner.

Caroline: A great big thanks to you all! I am learning that I must tap on whatever feelings come up even if they appear unrelated, and that there are many aspects to my difficulty including a deep rooted fear from my childhood that if I was confident my mother would disapprove of me as she disapproved of anyone with a "big head".

I am still finding it difficult to get an intensity reading on how I feel, but am using a visualisation of myself going through the motions on sunday, and just tapping on whatever is still there. Right now I am feeling much more at peace about the whole thing than I ever have, although i am still tapping on the doubts that this "won't work" and I still "still go to pieces". I remember the incident that triggered this fear, but am not sure how to go about dealing with that. I have tried to put myself back in the situation and imagine how I felt back then, not feeling much on that, but have tapped on the facts "even though ............. is jealous of me and wants me to fail, I deeply ...... accept myself". 

SR Comments: Several things here. Related pictures WILL pop up when we begin tapping on any issue, regardless of content. The insight to tap away on these seemingly unrelated issues is significant for those beginning their journey with these techniques. A core issue has also surfaced re: mother and her judgements of others. The generalisation here is st like “If I’m confident I’m not worthy of love…” This is a major door-opener. Again here I would be looking for other similar situations which may have had the same feelings attached. Once several of these SPECIFIC events have been collapsed, we will normally see substantial relief on the bigger issue.

HW: What's great is that you're recognising aspects of the problem. All of those seemingly unrelated thoughts that pop into your head are extremely important to tap on. They pop into your head with good reason even though it may not make sense initially. Now that you've 'uncovered' a fear of being confident, based on your mother's disapproval, you may well have hit on a core issue. Ask yourself if this has spilled over into other aspects of your life? Try not to get too hung up on what words to use. If you simply state exactly what you are feeling, and tap on that, your subconscious will provide the words you need to adjust your statement as you're going along. Let us know how you got on today.

Caroline: I got up early this morning before the reading and used the time to do more tapping. Was tapping quite a bit yesterday. Read about the "choice trio" from own of the newsletters and used the set up "even though I feel scared at reading aloud in public, I choose to feel wonderfully relaxed and calm to and read fluently in front of others".  Not long before we left I felt a feeling of dread about it and I tapped on "this feeling of dread" .. To cut a long story short, I felt MUCH better than I have before, i didn't feel panicky beforehand. when i began to feel a bit nervous just before i was "on", I repeated my affirmation "I choose to feel wonderfully relaxed ....." and infact said that to myself on just before beginning the reading. The reading itself was much improved, still feel a little unnatural, but nothing like what it has been in the past. my reading was comfortable and not gaspy and my heartbeat steady. Phew! I'm not sure if I'm imagining it, but I feel as if I am changing in that I don't feel so affected by other people right now. I used to get nervous and worried about going out even with friends to a night out, but I was out last week and I didn't get worked up about it.  Has anyone else noticed they get thirsty after tapping?

SR Comments: Wonderful! Caroline has intuitively used several different setups across many aspects, as well as her immediate feelings in the moment. This is fabulous use of all the power that EFT yields. In addition, clear evidence of the generalisation effect here, as Helen comments:

HW: Not feeling so affected by other people right now, and not worrying about a night out, is more than likely the 'generalisation effect' happening. You have been tapping on your nerves about reading, but it is generalising out across similar 'nervous' issues. The generalisation effect is what makes it possible to easily shift a hundred aspects after you've tapped on only 10 or 15 of them. It's also why tapping generally makes us feel a whole lot better in all sorts of ways. Any form of energy work will make you very thirsty, so make sure you always have lots of water on hand when you're tapping. I'm SO pleased you've had considerable success after all your efforts. You should be very pleased with yourself! Oh, and hurrah for EFT too!